hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
