Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
