And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
