Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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