I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
