OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
