Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
