areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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