But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
