How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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