She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
