I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
