i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
