Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
should my penis look like a turkey
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
