We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
