I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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