just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
