I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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