Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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