I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
