got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
