i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
