He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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