Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
