I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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