My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Help. Why am I so naked?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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