I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
