I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When did angry sex become our thing?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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