You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
