i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
