Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
