i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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