Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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