I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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