Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
