Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
