I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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