East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
