Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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