New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
