you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
