whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
