haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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