Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
