if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
