I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
