Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
