Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
