u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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