I feel like abortions should bother me more
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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